As a newbie in the Adulting game, I can totally relate to the fear and anxiety that comes with growing up. It is very far from a walk in the park and sometimes, I just want to pack my things and go back to my father’s house.
I think Adulthood doesn’t really dawn on you if you’re constantly around family. In my case, I’ve been living alone for the past three years with at least 500 km between my family and I. Growing up, I was very independent. I was the type of child you could trust to make certain important decisions without any help. I guess this has played a major role in my adulting process. From leaving the house to the university, doing my NYSC in Abuja (where I literally have no relatives) and deciding to stay back. Has it been easy? Heck no! but big thanks to my folks for making the transition through every stage very easy.
Funny how when we were younger, we wanted to be adults so bad. We wanted to live alone, have jobs, drink wine, etc. Well, here we are! Adulthood looked very fascinating while we were younger. The thought of opportunities opening up for you, the amazing adventures you could embark on, etc. The question is who said you can’t get all of that now?
More often than not, we let fear ruin the interesting experiences that comes with growing up. It’s very okay to be scared because nobody really knows the kind of adult they’ll be until they’re already adults! Whenever you have these scary thoughts, just remember these few points I’m about to share.
We’re all winging it!
At the end of the day, no one can say they have adulting figured out. That’s why some days it feels like you’ve finally hacked it then everything goes to shit and you breakdown completely. The worst thing you can do at this time is compare your journey to someone else’s. Like they say in pidgin “Na when you wake, be your morning”. There’s no magical age where everything falls in place. Just keep putting your best foot forward and you’ll see results.
Intentionality makes it easier
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”- Albert Einstein
This quote is very true when it comes to Adulting. So you have tried a lot things and they didn’t work out. Did you stop to ask yourself why or try to do them differently? Or you just concluded that Adulting is hard and your village people are after you. I first discovered the importance of being intentional last year. I kept complaining that I wasn’t getting customers for my wig making business because I didn’t know people in Abuja. That was a big fat lie! I had not even tried to promote my business to the people around me. I saw a huge difference when I really owned it and made “noise” about it. Before you quit, please sit down, strategize and restrategize. Find all the loopholes and try a different approach.
Clarity comes with prioritizing
You’re really not meant to be at every event or be friends with everyone. The day you figure out what requires your attention and energy, you’ll see a difference in your lifestyle, finances, and your overall well-being.
What you do everyday will either take you closer or farther away from achieving goals.
Help is always available if you just ask!
Just as it is okay to be scared, it’s also okay to talk about it. You’d be surprised to find out the number of people facing similar challenges. Belonging to a community that caters to your needs (be it physical, emotional, mental or spiritual) is very important. One beautiful about adulting is that you can actually choose your family. You really don’t have to do it all alone.
Live Love Laugh
Whether you want it or not, you must grow up! The best thing you can do for yourself is let yourself enjoy every second of your existence. Will it ever get easier? – Yes, No, Maybe. We create our own realities with every step we take.
Today is my birthday and I have a lot of reflections to do but I just feel like reaching out to young adults like myself with this post. We’ll be alright dears.
What do you think about the fear of growing up? Do you think you’ve hacked Adulting? Let’s chat in the comment section below.